The Procrastination Queen

The pressure of accomplishing my passions and dreams is taking a toll on me

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It’s been a long time I haven’t posted a blog. It upsets me a lot that I write only when I am sad or feeling gloomy. I think this behaviour of mine do injustice to my love for words. I never write or express myself through words when I am happy.

Last 3-4 months have been very chaotic and mentally exhausting. My unrequited love for over-thinking is awaken all over again.

I am someone who wakes up each morning to make the whole day productive and worth it. Now looking at my incomplete to-do lists and the promise to myself to complete them before my graduation now seems in vain.

Also, as my graduation is going to complete within a month or two, the fear of what will happen after that is growing day by day.

The pressure of accomplishing my passions and dreams is taking a toll on me. The negativity inside my mind is restricting me to focus more on hardwork keeping in mind that there is no substitute for hardwork. To add fuel to this, I am feeling more and more hopeless and useless. One thing that I am damn sure about is, I don’t voluntarily want to waste my time over-thinking shit.

From the girl who had no time to even wink, now I have beccome a couch potato with zero physical activity.

I know that whatever I am going through is not something that someone else can help me get out of it. The solution is with me only. I need to force myself to tear apart the cocoon of this negativity and be a butterfly ready to fly high.

I should not lose hope on my perseverance to achieve my goals and be confident enough to get through the hurdles in the path.

I don’t know what will happen, but I do know that I have to work hard and wait for the results patiently.

The much hiked- Feminism

I definitely never promoted Feminism. The feminism that people mistook from it’s literal meaning. Actually feminism is defined as- the advocacy of women’s right on the grounds of the equality of the sexes. The word ‘equality’ should be emphasised upon.

  Intentionally or unintentionally we have omitted the word ‘equality’ from our minds. And due to this, we are trying to put the status of women much higher than men.This creates an imbalance. And imbalance in any case is not good. We must keep our focus only in ensuring equality.

I am not denying the crime and harassments women face. Yeah, they do and being a women myself it’s painful for me too. But right now I would like you to look beyond this spectrum of crime and what you will see is definitely a point to worry about.

 The species of women lack unity. Actually, according to me, one can never trust a woman.Men definitely have unity.They are not ( most of the time)filled with jealousy, hatred, etc. Being a woman myself, sometimes I feel women are mysterious, dangerous more precisely.

For instance, there was this girl, who used to spam my whatsapp hurling abuses on a particular girl and today I saw her complimenting that girl with cheesy punch lines over comments, ‘we have spent years together’, I miss those days’ blah blah and I just can’t resist the urge to laugh.

Being a woman I do wonder why we have such a complex personality? Why are we so frickle minded?

Men on the other hand, are much more united.

I feel if we could resolve within each other, then only we can think of making this society a better place for us and think of getting equal rights.

Life

Life will always give you one certainty. When you need someone to understand you,to support you, then you will be the loneliest person on this planet.You will be bound cry out all night long,cursing yourself and thinking of erasing the mistakes you made.

Sometimes these situations over-power us so much that we become suicidal.No, suicide cannot be declared as a result of depression or some mental illness. Rather I would say, a person who commits suicide just lost a battle.

He couldn’t take the pain of being betrayed anymore.For that person the pain of crying all night long is nothing in front of the pain of death.Death seems to be a soothing, peace sleep which is just like the fruit of enlightenment for a soul.Gentle and peaceful.

I am not saying it is a good option.But the alternative is too good to be true. Since, we all are humans after all.
© The inked soul.( Sushmita)

Hopeless

Laying on the bed,

Both arms on each side,

Staring at the ceiling

Aimlessly.

Hopeless, shattered, betrayed, tired

and broken.

Want to cry, but I can’t.

Want to scream,but I can’t.

Want to leave,but I can’t.

Praying for someone to free my soul,

from my body taken for granted.

-sushmita

Fiction

Ssometimes people get involved with fictional characters of book, novel or movie so much that they desire that their life also become a fictional one.Little did they realise that what they want to escape from in the real world,the fictional world has much worse to give them though!

-Sushmita Panda